As a chef by trade with a bachelor’s degree in business administration, you might be wondering—why become a nanny? It’s a question I’ve asked myself a few times. It wasn’t the most obvious career move, but I found myself at a crossroads at the height of the pandemic. I had just come off a rough experience working at a start-up where I tore my ACL on the job. The pandemic had turned life upside down, and I was also grappling with some deeply personal questions—mainly around my future and whether I could (or even wanted to) have children.
I had been in several relationships where the topic of kids came up—specifically, the idea of having four or five children, which felt incredibly daunting. I come from a big family myself, being one of four, so the idea of having a large family wasn’t foreign to me. But it scared me. How could I ever imagine having even one child when I often felt like I was just managing to support myself?
So, I decided to take a step back and “try on the pants” before fully committing to
parenthood. I wanted to understand the day-to-day realities of caring for children as an adult. It wasn’t enough to rely on my memories of babysitting as a teenager—I needed a deeper, more informed perspective on what it actually meant to care for a child. And that’s how I found myself stepping into the world of being a nanny.
What I didn’t expect was how profoundly this experience would shape my understanding of family life, ultimately leading me to pursue postpartum doula certification.
This journey has not only changed the way I see family life, but it has also shown me the critical importance of supporting new parents as they navigate the transformative and often overwhelming experience of bringing a new life into the world.
1. Family Dynamics and the Role of Communication
As a nanny, I gained a front-row seat to the complex dynamics that exist between partners and family members. I saw how crucial clear communication was in maintaining a balanced household, especially with the added pressure of children. When parents work together as a team—communicating openly about their needs and expectations—they set a strong foundation for their roles as caregivers.
This understanding has deeply informed my work as a postpartum doula, where I focus on supporting parents as they transition into their new (or newer) roles. The postpartum period is filled with emotional highs and lows, and it’s easy for new parents to feel disconnected or overwhelmed. By being a calm, supportive presence, I help create space for them to connect, communicate, and share responsibilities in a way that fosters partnership.
2. The Importance of Supporting the Parents
One of the most pivotal things I’ve learned is that caring for the parents is just as important as caring for the baby. As a nanny, I realized that parents often put themselves last—focusing so entirely on the needs of their newborn that they forget to prioritize their own well-being. But if the parents aren’t cared for, the entire household suffers.
As a postpartum doula, my focus is on nurturing both parents, ensuring they feel physically, emotionally, and mentally supported. This isn’t just about preparing meals or helping with household chores—although those things are important. It’s about creating an environment where the parents can focus on bonding with their baby, while I help hold the space for them to rest, recover, and learn how to care for their newborn together. This period is foundational for their new roles as parents, and offering them guidance and reassurance during this time is essential.
3. Navigating the Fear and Responsibility of Infant Care
One of the biggest challenges I faced as a nanny was the initial fear of being responsible for a delicate, entirely dependent newborn. I was terrified of the responsibility—of being entrusted with the care of such a small, fragile human being. As I learned the ins and outs of infant care, from diapering to soothing, I gained the confidence and skills that allowed me to fully embrace that role.
This fear is something many new parents feel. There’s often an overwhelming sense of responsibility that comes with caring for a newborn. As a postpartum doula, part of my job is to help alleviate that fear by empowering parents with the knowledge and tools they need to feel confident in their abilities. I teach them the practical aspects of infant care, but I also offer emotional support, reminding them that they are capable, and that it’s okay to ask for help as they learn.
4. The Importance of Nurturing the Parents’ Relationship
Becoming parents is one of the most profound shifts a couple can experience. It changes the dynamics of their relationship and introduces new challenges they may not have anticipated. As a nanny, I saw how parents often struggled to find time to nurture their own relationship amidst the demands of caring for their child. But when parents take time to strengthen their bond, it benefits not only their partnership but also their ability to care for their child.
As a postpartum doula, I emphasize the importance of creating space for parents to connect, even in small ways, as they embrace this new chapter together. Whether it’s encouraging them to share the load of newborn care or simply reminding them to take a few minutes for themselves, my goal is to support the health of their relationship as they step into their roles as caregivers.
5. Holding Space for the New Mom
The postpartum period can be isolating and overwhelming for new mothers. Physical recovery from childbirth, the emotional rollercoaster of new parenthood, and the demands of caring for an infant can leave a mother feeling depleted. As a nanny, I witnessed the exhaustion new mothers often experienced and how vital it was for them to have someone who could step in and offer support.
In my role as a postpartum doula, I see it as my responsibility to “mother the mother.” I provide nourishment—whether it’s through meal preparation or offering time for her to rest—while ensuring she feels seen and cared for. It’s about more than just physical recovery; it’s about emotional and mental well-being too. When a new mother feels supported, she’s better equipped to care for her baby and transition into her new role with confidence and grace.
6. Helping Parents Find Their Rhythm
Every family is different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. One of the key things I learned as a nanny is that finding a routine or rhythm that works for the family is crucial for harmony. In the early postpartum period, everything feels new and chaotic, and parents often struggle to establish routines that work for them.
As a postpartum doula, I help families find their own rhythm—whether it’s with feeding schedules, sleep routines, or sharing household duties. My role is to help guide parents through the often messy and unpredictable first weeks, offering reassurance and helping them develop routines that bring a sense of calm to their lives. I remind them that it’s okay if things aren’t perfect and that flexibility is just as important as routine.
Conclusion: A Shared Journey of Care
Working as a nanny in my 30s gave me an invaluable perspective on the complexities of family life and the immense responsibilities that come with raising children. But more than that, it led me to discover this calling to utilize my skills and empathy as a postpartum doula. Supporting new parents as they step into their roles—nurturing not only their babies but each other—has become my mission.
My role isn’t just about caring for the infant; it’s about holding space for the family as they navigate this incredible journey together. By supporting the parents, offering guidance, and creating an environment where they can thrive, I help lay the foundation for a healthy, happy family dynamic. It’s a privilege to be part of this transformative time in their lives, and it’s work that inspires me every day.
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